Memories Not Lost
by Rita Arabella Black
Summary: Sirius just didn't lose his best friends the night the Potters died, he also lost something much more precious.
1. Chapter 1

_Based on characters created by J. K. Rowling_

**A/N: So, my cousin, MsEsmeBlack and I were PM-ing the other day and she came up with a brilliant idea for a story: What if Harry Potter found out that Sirius Black had a wife and daughter that were killed before he was sent to Azkaban? **_**Hmm**_**, I thought.**

Chapter 1—The Birthday

Harry Potter was sent to the attic, along with Hermione and Ron, to clean No. 12, Grimmauld Place, mostly to keep them out of the way of the adults, but Molly Weasley was determined to make the headquarters of The Order of the Phoenix, livable. The place had been left to decay after the last Black inhabitant died several years before. Kreacher, the family's house elf, for whatever reason, did not maintain the house as he was sworn to do, and spent his days moaning and complaining to the portrait of Mrs. Black about the invasion of the noble house of Black by Mudbloods and blood traitors.

Harry suspected that he was sent to the attic more than the rest of them in order to talk to Sirius, who spent more and more time away from the others. Sirius was especially maudlin these days; as an escaped prisoner, he was unable to help his friends by joining in the Order's missions. All he had done was provide the sanctuary, but he never felt that was enough.

He found him, as he knew he would in the corner of the attic away from the natural light of the window; Buckbeak at his feet, dozing. Sirius was looking at an old photo album, and looked up when Harry walked in. Harry could tell that Sirius had been crying.

"Sirius," Harry said, acting surprised that he'd found him there.

Sirius wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, and closed the book and put it in his shirt. "Harry, my boy," he said, trying to sound chipper. "What brings you to the attic?"

"Mrs. Weasley," he said walking toward him. "She wanted me to clean up here."

"Buckbeak has left a bit of a mess. Sorry about that."

"Sirius," Harry began. "You know that everyone appreciates you letting the Order use your house for its headquarters."

Sirius looked at Harry and nodded.

"And you want to do more, but it's very dangerous. I know you'd rather be out there fighting. Never mind what Professor Snape said."

Sirius blew out a breath very slowly. "I know, Harry. I know how dangerous it is, for all of us."

"I wish I could do something for you, you're so sad all the time."

Sirius patted his chest. "Bad time of the year," he said simply. He smiled a sad smile as he walked from the attic muttering something about a meeting later.

Later that evening as they were cleaning the top stair case, Hermione looked at Sirius, who was shuffling around the lower breezeway.

"Does Sirius seem a bit depressed to you?" Hermione asked watching him.

Harry nodded, "Yes, he's been like that all summer. I thought it was because he isn't allowed to go on any missions or anything, but I really think there's something else." Harry began stacking boxes in the far corner. "I asked him what was wrong and all you said was, 'bad time of the year'."

"I wonder what he meant by that?" she said, chewing her fingernail.

Harry shrugged. "I don't know, Hermione, but if he wanted to talk I'm sure he would."

Harry was heading to bed that evening around midnight. The Order had an important meeting and he was waiting around for the older members to finish up and leave. Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall had made the meeting and everyone was excited about the news report from Shacklebolt. He walked through kitchen when he spotted Sirius sitting at the kitchen table. He was gripping a half empty bottle of firewhiskey in one hand and a badly torn piece of paper in the other. Harry looked at him and smiled tentatively.

"Sirius, are you all right?"

Sirius looked up drunkenly. He raised the bottle in a salute. "Harry!" he said. "Come here, I want to show you something." He took one hand and smoothed out the paper and handed it to him. It was a photograph; too damaged to be animated, or perhaps it was a muggle photograph, he couldn't tell. It was a picture of a classically beautiful woman who was holding a tiny infant. It looked that the picture was taken in a hospital, possibly when the baby was born.

Harry looked at the picture trying to figure out why Sirius would have it and why it made him so sad. Sirius touched the photo lovingly. "This is Demetra, my wife, and this gorgeous little girl's name is Antaria, our daughter. This was taken the day she was born. Antaria would be sixteen today."

Harry didn't know what to say; he had no idea Sirius was ever married and he sure didn't know anything about having a child. "What happened, Sirius?' Harry asked quietly.

"She and her mother died on the very day that _you_ lived."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2—The Princess

Harry looked at him, totally stunned. Not only had Sirius had a wife and child, but they were killed the very same day as his parents?

Sirius smiled at him as he pushed the bottle of firewhiskey away. He shrugged, "It's the only time I need something to keep the demons away."

Harry nodded and removed the bottle. "Sirius," he began. "I didn't know. Do you, uh, can you talk about it?"

At first, Harry didn't think he was going to say anything. He had a faraway look in his eye and he slid his finger across the picture of Demetra slowly and lovingly. "My princess," he whispered.

He sniffed loudly and wiped his eyes with his hand. "Right after we finished at Hogwarts, we had arranged for the traditional trip. We were very excited about going and were looking forward to it. At the last moment, Peter told us he couldn't go, I was never sure why, but anyway, it was James, Remus and I ready for our wild adventure." He laughed at the memory. "We planned the trip around Lupin's 'furry little problem'. Can you see it, Harry? The Marauders unleashed on an unsuspecting world?"

Harry laughed with him, imagining his dad and two best friends on the ultimate road trip. Then Sirius's expression changed.

"It was a very dangerous time, Harry. People were disappearing; Voldemort's power was increasing. Very frightening, but we were determined to see the world.

"About this time was when your mum and dad started to get very serious about each other. Kind of sickening, actually," he joked. "The minute we left, James couldn't stop talking about Lily; 'was she safe?', 'did she miss me? My God, he drove us mad! Finally, in France, we told him to go home. He wasn't any fun to be around, so reluctantly he left us. I don't think he ever regretted it.

"So, we were down to two. Now, I love Remus, but he's rather conservative, you know and I, full of manly hormones wanted to drink and party my way through Europe, but he was more interested in museums and libraries. So, we compromised; we spent our days doing touristy things and at night, I got to carouse." He smiled to himself.

"Remus had dragged me to yet another ancient and very boring library in Romania. He was also looking for spells and potions that might cure him. And that's where I met her."

Once again, Sirius's face softened as he thought about her. "She was absolutely the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. Not my type at all; she was regal, flawless features, delicate hands, and her hair! She was the type of woman who would totally ignore me, wrinkle up that perfect little nose if she did have to cross my path and pull her cloak closer to her so she wouldn't have to touch me." He laughed.

"But she did," he said. "She smiled at me; a genuine smile. It was shy. When she caught my eye, she looked around as if someone was watching her. I knew I wanted to talk to her, so I, you know, full of myself start to get up, and the minute she smiled at me again, I turned into a stuttering, shy kid.

"Her first words to me were, 'is your friend all right?', meaning Moony, of course, because you know how wild he looks when he's concentrating on something, plus the scars and all."

Harry nodded. Professor Lupin had a way about him when he was studying something or totally focused.

"Well, that shot me way down; she was looking at Moony and not me. I wanted her to focus on me, so I did what any other red-blooded man would do, I lied. I told her that Moony was missing his boyfriend in France and he was trying to find a cure for the rash on his…well, you get the idea."

"What did she say?"

Sirius grinned again. "She laughed; not a little dainty laugh, but straight from the belly. She had me from that moment on. I knew I had to get to know her.

"I introduced myself, and begged her to let me sit down. She nodded and moved the books out of the way. I noticed that she was wearing a signet ring on her little finger. It was gold and had some sort of crest and an emerald in the center. It caught my eye because it wasn't dainty in the design; it looked old and although it looked natural on her finger, it wasn't something I would expect to see on such a delicate hand.

"She saw that I noticed her ring, and she made no move to hide it, in fact, she held it up for me to see. 'It was my grandfather's,' she said. 'By the way, my name is Demetra; Demetra Grimaldi.'."

Sirius said her name with such reverence that Harry thought he should bow his head. He looked at the photograph again and could easily see how any man could become infatuated; she looked exhausted after giving birth, but she was still so beautiful, and the child looked so much like her, but she had Sirius's eyes.

Harry knew he had to hear the rest of the story, but Sirius put his head on his hands and closed his eyes. "It's getting late, Harry," he said with a yawn. "You need to go to bed. I'll tell you the rest of the story another time."

**A/N: And, for those of you who follow my stories, yes, there is a connection between Demetra and my other OC character, Marisol Grimaldi.--Rita**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3—

Harry was so intrigued with Sirius's story that he couldn't wait to hear more, but Sirius didn't appear to be anxious at all to tell Harry about his marriage to Demetra. He didn't want nag his godfather, but he just wanted to know everything. He was having trouble getting Sirius alone; he doubted that Sirius was avoiding him on purpose, but it was becoming frustrating. But one evening, Harry found Harry in the tapestry room, staring at the obliterated family members that displeased Mrs. Black.

"Harry, come on in," he said pleasantly. "I think Molly was looking for you. Maybe you should duck in here for a while."

"Thanks, Sirius." They looked at each. Harry cleared his throat. "Um, Sirius?" Clearly nervous, he cleared his throat again. "I was wondering if you would finish the story you were telling me about, De, uh, your wife."

"Ah," he looked down at his hands. He nodded. "Demetra," he said reverently. He sat down in a comfortable, but well worn arm chair and Harry sat on the floor by his feet. "Where was I?"

"In the library in Romania."

"Ah yes. The first time I saw her. She was beautiful and regal…"

"Yes, you were smitten."

"Totally. I was ready to tell Moony to get up and go away, that I'd meet up with him in a hundred years somewhere. I would have spent my last dying day happily in that creepy library staring at her. I was captivated.

"I got up the nerve to ask her what a pretty witch was doing in a place like that, trying to be funny, but she got very serious. 'I'm looking for clues,' said she. She looked around to see if anyone was looking at her, but no one paid her any mind.

"'Clues to what?' I asked.

"'Clues to finding my sister.'

"'Do you think you will find her in the library?' Again I was trying to be funny, and this time she blessed me with a smile.

"She shook her head and leaned in very close to me. 'I received a cryptic message from her and the only clue I had was that more clues would be here.' She pushed one of the large volumes away from her. 'I don't know what I'm doing!' she said. 'And I don't know where to start!'

"I told her not to worry that I would help her. Her smile was so genuine that I thought it would break my heart. She touched my hand. 'Thank you. I'm afraid my sister's in danger.'

"It turned out that her sister, whose name was Marisol, by the way, worked as a covert agent for the _ministère français de Magie, _the French Ministry of Magic, and she was in some kind of trouble. It wasn't until much later that she found out that she was alive. But I digress."

Sirius looked uncomfortable, as if he was suppressing some painful memory. Harry didn't want to pressure him, so he sat silently watching as Sirius's hands shook slightly. He put his hands together to stop the trembling.

"I never left her side after that day," he said finally.

"I encouraged Remus to move on, that I was staying in Romania, and reluctantly, he agreed. I know he thought me mad, but I convinced him it was for the best.

"I told her I would help her find the clues and we went to silly extremes looking for something that ultimately wasn't there.

"I did everything I could to be charming and I finally won her over. We talked for hours and I found out she was from one of the oldest wizarding families in Europe. The signet ring she wore bore her family's coat of arms. She was the bluest of the blue bloods, pure lineage from the eleventh century; the Grimaldi family were royals. And she loved me.

"How I got that lucky, I have no idea," Sirius said shaking her head. "But she did. I proposed to her after the first week and she laughed in my face, but she kissed me and told me to ask her again after the second week, and I did and she said yes."

Sirius looked happy for the first time in a very long time. He grinned and clapped his hands together while leaning in very close to Harry. "Her parents had a fit. They hated me; The name Black may have meant something in England, but it meant shite in Romania."

"She was threatened with disinheritance; _I _was threatened with my life. I told her I wasn't worth it and family was more important than romance, it absolutely broke my heart to say it, but she wouldn't listen. It was me she loved and it would kill her to lose me.

"She chose me. I swore by all that was holy that I would make her happy every day for the rest of her life. And we were. You know, Harry, I had already separated myself from my own family so we were kindred souls. We were so poor; I don't know how we lived.

"In an act of defiance, she sent her grandfather back his ring and the rest of the family jewelry; I told her she was crazy because we could have gotten over a thousand galleons for that ring alone. But I understand because she was exactly like me."

Harry knew that Sirius had rebelled against his family and he spent more time at the Potter's home than he did at his own house and Harry's father closer to him than his real brother.

"We had been married for six months; I save enough money to take her out for a special dinner. That's when she told me that she was pregnant. I didn't know how we were going to be able to manage with a baby, but it was the happiest day of my life.

"I decided then that we had to move back to England where I had good friends and prospects of a better life. We had to travel using more traditional means, but we moved back home three weeks before our daughter was born."

"James and Lily were engaged by then and we decided that we would be friends for life. Lily and Demetra got along very well.

"But at the same time, the Dark Lord became more active and as bad as it was before, things were getting a lot worse."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4—Going Home

"Right after Demetra told me she was going to have our child, I began making arrangements to move back to England. The first I did was send James an owl that I was coming home and I had a surprise for him. He wrote me back and told me he had a bigger surprise; he and Lily were getting married in a week and I better be his best man or I'd never see them again."

Sirius smiled at his godson's look and said, "I must tell you I wasn't surprised at all. I knew your parents were meant to be together.

"Demetra talked me into going back to England without her in order to be best man at James's wedding. I didn't want to leave, but she assured me she'd follow me in another couple of weeks. There was a lot of red tape involving her emigrating from Romania to England. Both Ministries of Magic had to get involved and there was a waiting period; the only thing that worried me was whether she'd be in England before our baby was born. It killed me to leave her."

Sirius had that faraway look in his eyes again; he was remembering something so painful that Harry felt it, too. He could imagine how torn Sirius must have been. He wanted to stay with his wife, but he was looking forward to seeing his best friend get married.

Harry was curious about his parents' wedding but that wasn't the story he wanted to hear from Sirius. He was fascinated by Demetra and what it was about her that made Sirius fall in love. From what he knew about his godfather, before he was sent to Azkaban, Sirius was a fun loving, never taking anything serious, kind of bloke, whose only concern was for his friends and what kind of mischief he could get them into.

"I made it back in time for the wedding, of course," Sirius continued. "It was wonderful seeing the old gang again, but I missed Demetra terribly. No one could figure out what had happened to me." Sirius laughed. "I changed from the goof to a love struck husband. When I told my friends about my wife and child on the way, no one believed me. They thought it was some kind of joke. Sirius Black married? James was the worst; you'd think he would have been the most supportive, him just gotten married and all, but it was actually Moony who convinced the others I was serious.

"I couldn't wait to get back to Romania and pick up my bride. I received an owl from her after I'd been in England for three weeks telling me she was cleared to leave. I flew back and picked her up.

I had renting a nice flat in London. Your mother helped me decorate the place because you know I didn't have a talent for that sort of thing. She even helped me pick out the nursery. I knew that Demetra and she would become great friends." He looked away wistfully. "And they did."

Sirius wiped a small tear that had fallen down his face. He smiled at Harry as the memories whirled around him. Harry was afraid that he wouldn't be able to go on, but he cleared his throat and continued.

"They all loved her, especially Lily. She was happy to have a new best friend and Demetra was thrilled to have a female to talk to. We spent a lot of time with your parents," he said, remembering.

He also thought of the times he and Demetra spent alone. He wouldn't tell Harry, of course, how they made love every night and how they planned their future and the future of their child. It was girl! He remembered the day she rushed home from the healer with the news. They were going to have a daughter. She was going to be as beautiful as her mother, and her name was Antaria.

Right after Antaria was born, Demetra's sister Marisol visited her for a very short time. The reunion they had was short and very sad because apparently Marisol was going back deep undercover and she didn't know when she would be back in touch. Demetra cried for several days and she told Sirius that she believe she'd never see her sister again. Sirius tried to reassure her, but she was distraught.

Antaria was, according to her dad, the perfect child. She was always smiling and slept through the night before most babies. She gained the right amount of weight at the right time; walked earlier than most babies, and her first word was, "Dada."

Sirius was a changed man when he looked at his family; no more silly pranks or dumb tricks. He was mature and found a good job. He didn't spend evening in bars, he came straight home. His friends found it an amazing transformation. Moony and Wormtail complained jokingly that the Marauders had turned into a bunch of stay-at-homes bores. James, who was just as devoted to Lily as Sirius was to Demetra told them both that they should find wives and settle down. The only true marauding the foursome did was working with the Order of the Phoenix. Sirius wouldn't let Demetra join the secret society because he worried so much about her and Antaria's safety. That was their only argument, Sirius recalled. Her whole family was dedicated to fighting against dark wizards and if he could fight Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters, so should she.

"Look at Lily," Demetra protested, "she's a member."

"But," countered Sirius, "she doesn't have a child. I'm sure James wouldn't let her be a part of it if they had children."

"Ah," said Demetra, grinning, "then you don't know everything do you?"

"What are you talking about?" he asked, confused.

"Lily's pregnant," she said. "And the baby's due in July. You didn't know?" She couldn't keep the smug, 'I-know-something-you-didn't' look off her face.

She cuddled up next to Sirius and kissed him. "Isn't this wonderful, darling, soon Antaria will have a little playmate."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5—Happy Birthday Harry!

Demetra and Lily became best friends as soon as they met. Lily confided that she was pregnant to Demetra before she told James. She was so excited about having a child and she doted on Antaria calling it 'getting experience'. She and James became Antaria's godparents and she dragged her friend shopping for baby clothes. Lily was happy that their children would grow up to be friends; they would go to Hogwarts together, and when they grew up, Antaria and little James Junior would get married.

"How do you know it's going to be a boy?" Demetra asked one day while they were out shopping for baby boy clothes.

Lily shrugged. "I just have a feeling," she giggled. "Okay, I went to a seer and she told me that I was having a boy and that he would be very famous."

"I know!" Demetra said getting into the moment, "he'll be a professional Quidditch player."

Sirius was thrilled that she and Lily were such good friends. He knew that she missed her family, especially her sister, Marisol. Demetra still could not get over the feeling that she'd never see her again. Marisol had gone undercover in some dangerous situation and it might be years before she resurfaced.

Amazingly, Lily and Demetra got on very well with Peter. He was always available for chores and shopping trips when the ladies needed him. Demetra especially liked him and scolded Sirius when he teased or taunted Peter. Antaria squealed with delight every time Peter turned himself into a rat. Sirius thought it was extremely funny when Antaria picked him up by his tail, but it never seemed to bother Peter; he was just happy to be included in the group.

"Why do you like him so much?" Sirius asked Demetra one evening after Peter left.

"He's annoyingly whiny and a bore."

"Then you should have never invited him to join in your little Hogwarts band if you don't like him. I think he's funny and Antaria loves to play with him. Besides, he reminds me of my great uncle, Bernard, who lives in Milan. _He_ does rather look like a rat, too," she chuckled.

Sirius rolled his eyes and blew out a big puff of air and pretended to be disgusted, but soon Demetra made him smile and he refused to think any more about Peter Pettigrew. He would have done anything to make his daughter happy, including changing into Padfoot just to amuse her.

What surprised Sirius even more was Demetra's acceptance of Remus Lupin's lycanthropy. She shrugged it off, "I've lived in Romania for half my life, who doesn't know a lycanthrope?" She treated Lupin as a dear old friend, and was never reluctant to leave Antaria in his care. She seemed to connect with all of the Marauders in a very personal way. That was one of the many things Sirius loved about her.

"Sirius?" Demetra called out one evening. She had put Antaria to bed and she retired early herself. Sirius was away on a very secret OOTP mission that he couldn't discuss even with her. She worried so much when he was gone.

"No, dearest," called a voice from downstairs. "It's me, Lily. I just wanted to make sure you were all right."

"I'll be right down," she called pulling on her robe.

She hurried down the stairs and found her friend standing at the door. Using a spell to turn on the lights, she saw that Lily was drenched. She had a concerned look on her face. Demetra's first thought, of course, was that something had happened to Sirius. Lily caught her expression and quickly reassured her.

"Sirius is just fine. James and he will be back probably tomorrow. I'm not feeling very well, and I couldn't sleep. I'm sorry I woke you up."

"No, that's fine. I'm glad you're here. I am so worried about Sirius, I need a diversion. Please come in. I didn't realize it was raining." Demetra performed a drying spell and magicked them both a cup of tea.

Lily took the cup of tea and settled into the overstuffed chair. She slipped off her shoes and put her feet on the ottoman. Lily was in advanced stages of pregnancy, and her feet swelled often. "Ah," she said smiling.

Demetra sipped her tea and watched her friend closely. She remembered what it was like when she was pregnant. Lily was miserably contented. Her son would be born soon and she would finally be able to see her toes.

"I've had back pain all day," Lily said. "I cannot seem to get comfortable at all. I have another two weeks to go and I don't think I can last too longer. How was it with Antaria? Was she on time or early? I think I've been pregnant my whole life!"

"Antaria was two weeks late. I know how you feel, dearest. I was ready to transfer the baby to Sirius and let him carry her the last month." They both giggled.

"That's a great idea. I doubt that James could handle being pregnant. He's such a baby."

Demetra laughed. "Exactly! Could you imagine the boys pregnant?"

Lily's face went white. "Oh!" she said. She stood up quickly and her skirt and the chair were drenched. "I think my water just broke!"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6—Full Moon

Demetra jumped up and immediately held on to Lily as a crushing labor pain made her double over.

"Oh, dear," Lily said. "I don't want to have this baby without James. Please can you get him?"

"Of course, I'll send him an owl right now. Lie down and get comfortable." She ran to her desk and wrote a letter and gave it to their owl, who took it in her beak and flew away.

"I told him to meet us at St Mungo's. I'm going to get Antaria and we'll go to the hospital. Can you make it, Lily?"

Lily was in the middle of another severe contraction. "They're too close," she said holding her belly and panting. "I think he's coming now."

Demetra ran upstairs and grabbed her sleeping daughter and ran downstairs. Lily was still holding her belly, but she looked like she wasn't in pain any more. She smiled wanly at Demetra.

"We can catch the Knight Bus," Lily said. Demetra nodded in agreement. They hurried outside into the dark, and Lily held her wand above her head, just as another strong contraction hit. Just as she tensed for the pain, the Knight Bus appeared, and Demetra helped her on. She paid the fair and took the offered bed, helping her friend.

Once the driver realized that there was a witch in labor on the bus, he took off at the speed of light, and they were at St Mungo's and being gurneyed in the front door before one could say, "Merlin's beard." The staff took over and whisked her into the lift and the ob ward.

Twelve seconds later, James ran in, followed by Sirius, Moony, and Peter. The receptionist directed them to labor and delivery and they flew up, dissipating in a puff of white smoke, rather than waiting on the lift.

Demetra was in the room with Lily; Antaria still asleep in a bassinet provided by the hospital. Sirius ran to her and kissed her gently. James was pale and shaking slightly as he watched Lily during a rather hard contraction. She grabbed his hand and squeezed tightly. He grimaced, but let her hold on to him. Moony and Peter looked at each other and swallowed hard; they'd be outside if they needed anything and backed off.

"I'm glad you made it in time," Demetra whispered to her husband.

"Me, too. I would have hated for James to miss his son's birthday. You want to give them some privacy?"

Demetra nodded as Sirius picked up his sleeping daughter and kissed her. "Remember when she was born?" he asked nostalgically.

"We didn't have the drama," Demetra said.

"Speak for yourself, woman," Sirius said chuckling. "Have you forgotten when I passed out cold on the floor?."

"Oh, yes, how could I forget?" she chuckled. "You scared the mid-wife so badly…"

"But you, my dearest angel, came through it like a champion. And our perfect little girl."

Tears sprang up in Demetra's eyes unexpectedly. "I love you, Sirius."

"And I you with all my heart," he said kissing her hand.

Sirius and Demetra went out to the waiting area with Remus and Peter. Peter looked like he was going to pass out at any moment and Remus kept looking around the room nervously, wondering if he should be around people; it was a full moon, after all, but it was drizzling and the moon had been obscured. He didn't want to take any chances, and finally left a little after midnight.

"I can't believe all this commotion hasn't woken Antaria," Demetra said.

As if on cue, Antaria started to cry. Sirius picked her up quickly and kissed her until she opened her eyes and smiled at her daddy. She gave him an almost toothless grin and flapped her arms excitedly.

He rocked her gently and she closed her eyes, sucking her thumb, secure in her daddy's arms.

At precisely 3:15 am, a very tired, but happy James ran into the waiting area and announced, "It's a boy! Harry James Potter. Mother and baby are doing fine." Then he collapsed in the nearest chair. His friends surrounded him, congratulating him.

"Well, done, old man," Peter said happily, offering him and the others a cigar.

Sirius hugged his friend, slapping him on his back. "Congratulations, James. We couldn't be happier."

Demetra kissed James on the check and walked back in the delivery room. Lily was holding her infant. "Demetra, come look. Isn't he beautiful? He has his father's hair," she said laughing at the way his hair spiked up on top.

Demetra smiled, and kissed the baby gently. He opened his eyes for a moment, then closed them again, ready for his first official nap. "But he has your eyes," she said.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Harry coughed discreetly and Sirius looked at him, surprised that he was still in the same room. He was thinking of Demetra and their daughter and of course James and Lily and how much closer they became once Harry was born. He sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, where were we? Ah yes," he said, smiling sadly.

"After you were born, your mother and Demetra became closer; I swear they were closer than sisters. Lily was convinced that you and Antaria were destined to become soul mates." He laughed out loud. "They were even planning your wedding."

Harry smiled and tried to imagine how they would look together on their wedding day, with his family around him. _His family_. Now his only family was Sirius. He would have asked his father to stand up with him when he got married. He couldn't see her face clearly, but as she walked down the aisle on her father's arm, he saw her. She was beautiful; her hair dark and flowing; perfect lips and eyes like her father's. And when she sees him, she doesn't smile shyly; her face lights up. _Oh, great, thought Harry, I'm in love with a ghost._

Sirius closed his eyes again. "Times became very dangerous after that. Lord Voldemort became exceedingly aggressive and the Death Eaters more or less had free range. People started turning up missing and it was about the time of your first birthday when Demetra's sister sent us an owl and told us some very disturbing news. She told us that Voldemort heard a prophecy that foretold his death, and that Voldemort was convinced it was you, Harry, who could destroy him. That's when I became the secret keeper.

"Our lives changed dramatically after that. There were rumors of betrayal and honestly no one knew whom to trust. Voldemort and his Death Eaters were intimidating average wizards and more people were disappearing. The Longbottoms…" he shook his head.

"I don't think he found out about everyone in the Order, but he guessed that there were wizards fighting against him in an organized manner. We did what we could and Demetra convinced me to let her join. Our main goal was to protect you and your parents. It must have been very hard on Lily especially because she couldn't get out of her house without an armed detail. Demetra did everything she could think of to keep her company. Antaria and you played together and tried to keep everything as normal as possible.

"Demetra was so good and she kept everyone happy, but inside I knew this was killing her. She felt had to be strong for the rest of us, but she was worried about our friends. When more and more people disappeared I knew she was thinking about her sister. When she thought I was asleep, I heard her weeping. Many nights we just held on to each other. She was so worried about what might happen to us. She worried mostly about Antaria and you. And me. She never thought about how her life was in danger; only about how to keep the ones she loved safe."

Sirius looked away; his eyes shining. Harry wanted to do something to make him feel better; to reassure him, but he didn't know what to say. It suddenly came to him how much Sirius had lost when his parents died. He needed to know what happened to Demetra and Antaria, but he was afraid that bringing back those memories would sink Sirius into a deeper depression.

"Sirius," Harry began. "I'm sorry, if you don't want to talk about it, I understand."

He sighed heavily and smiled. "No, Harry. I want to tell you about Demetra and Antaria. I want you to know them. No one else will talk about them because they are afraid of hurting me. They never understood what my wife and daughter meant to me. They were my life and…" Sirius began to sob.

Harry just stared at him, unable to comfort him; not knowing what to do. Finally, he awkwardly patted him on his shoulder. "It's all right," he soothed. "You don't have to…"

Sirius threw Harry's arm off of him and he stood up. "But I do, boy; I have to tell you. I've kept this inside of me for so long. They were my life and I loved them with all my heart, but it was I, Harry!" he grabbed the front of Harry's shirt and shook him. "I killed them," Sirius whispered, barely audibly.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8-Halloween Night

Harry stared at his godfather, stunned. Had he really heard what he thought he heard? No, there was no way possible that Sirius could have killed two of the people he loved more than his own life.

"Sirius? What…"

Sirius smiled sadly at Harry. "It was Halloween. Antaria had been invited to a party with other children her age and Demetra begged me to let her go. I was on assignment with the Order. We'd just learned the whereabouts of a house where Death Eaters were torturing families. It was all a ruse, of course to get people away from your house. We had no idea that Voldemort had discovered your location. There was something in the air that night, but I was too distracted to understand what was going on.

"Demetra talked me into allowing Antaria to go to the party and she wanted me to go with them, but, of course I couldn't. She said we needed a night out, and she was right. We hadn't gone out since we found out that Voldemort was planning to kill you."

Harry listened to his matter-of-fact tone and he shivered when he realized that it was his family Sirius was talking about. Sirius laughed a mirthless laugh and Harry watched as his face became drawn and he looked so sad.

"I told my darling that although I couldn't go, I would send one of our friends round to make sure that she got there okay and he would also take them home after the party." Sirius's eyes welled up and he began to cry. "It was someone whom I trusted…"

"Peter Pettigrew!" Harry said in surprise.

Sirius looked at Harry and nodded. "The man who betrayed you; I had just entrusted the loves of my life to him. This was just what he was waiting for. I didn't know, Harry. I thought, he led me to believe that it was Remus who couldn't be trusted and I thought, I believed, that Peter was too loyal to betray us."

A look of anger passed across his face. He took a full deep breath. "So Remus, Arthur, Molly, and I went to the location we were told about. It was so far from Godric's Hollow that it took us quite a while to find the place and when we got there, there no signs of life at all. There was just a scroll of parchment there with James and Lily's and your name written on it in blood. Your names were scratched out. That's when we realized that we had been duped and we flew back as quickly as we could.

"By the time we got back it was too late. We went to the Order's headquarters and were told that something had happened. The first thing I did was get on my motorcycle and flew to your house and I saw for myself that it had been almost completely destroyed. Hagrid was there and I met him as he came outside; you were wrapped up in a blanket and I couldn't believe you were alive. He told me your parents were dead, but you had survived. I told him I would take you and we would raise you but he told me Albus told him to take you somewhere where you'd be safe.

"That's when it occurred to me that it had to have been Peter who had betrayed you. And I realized that it was may fault because I had made him secret keeper. I had killed your parents."

Sirius looked away from Harry, too ashamed to face him. "Then I knew what I had to do. I had to find him and I was going to kill him.

"I finally caught up with him on a street corner. He looked so smug. I yelled at him to stop because I wanted to know why he had betrayed us.

"He laughed and said he'd always worked for Voldemort, that he hated all of us, especially me. It didn't take much for him to convince me that Remus was the traitor and that he should secret keeper.

"I told him that I was going to kill him, but he was so calm, I couldn't believe it.

"'You're not going to kill me,' he said looking at me square in the eyes. 'Not in front of all these witnesses.'

"I started laughing at him; he didn't know me very well, I could kill him in front of a thousand witnesses."

Sirius closed his eyes. "'But would you kill me in front of your family,' he said. That's when he moved back and I saw Demetra holding on to Antaria behind him. She was terrified. When she saw me, she was crying and she smiled at me.

"'I'll give you anything you want,' I begged. 'Let them go. They've never done anything to hurt you. Demetra's always been so good to you, even though you didn't deserve it. Take me instead,' I pleaded.

"'I don't think so,' he said smiling cruelly. 'See what it feels like to lose everything.'

"I started running toward them when I was knocked back in the explosion that demolished the block and killed everyone around.

"They were gone. In a blink of an eye my wife and daughter killed. So when they came after me, I didn't fight back; I didn't run away. My only consolation was that son of a bitch had died, too. I knew that I didn't want to live after that. I had no hope. That night I'd lost my best friends and my beautiful wife and daughter."

Sirius hung him head and began to weep. Harry embraced him and they clung together.

"It wasn't your fault, Sirius," Harry said. "It was Peter Pettigrew's fault. You can't blame yourself. You didn't kill them, just like you weren't responsible for the death of my parents."

"That's where you're wrong, Harry. Don't you see, I trusted the wrong man. It's my fault that they are dead. And I deserved everything I got. Now I want to live to see Peter Pettigrew and Voldemort die. Maybe I will receive absolution then. Maybe then they will forgive me."

Harry watched as Sirius made it up the stairs into the attic. He stayed there with Buckbeak for several days. When the others tried to get him down, Harry told them that he was fine up there and not to bother him. He knew that Sirius would come down in his own time. Right now he needed to be alone.

**A/N: This was very hard for me to write the last chapter. I'm sorry it took so long to post it. I hope you enjoyed the story; it was very sad for me to write. And maybe Demetra and Antaria some how made it out alive. After all, that rat Pettigrew escaped... --Rita**


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